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Women and Fiction has never been more real. Never. So all I have to do is find the time to locate and upload a photo. The 9 to 5 monopolizes most of my day, which is okay if you’re into being a pusher of paper. Pssssssst. Can I interest you in some 8×10 collated copies of any random document? I Continue reading
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Relationships – Does Dinning Alone Make You a Big Dummy? “Madi Brown, table for one please.” As a single, would you say that it is embarrassing to eat alone? I mean, does it equate to you being some kind of non-dateable reject who couldn’t score a date with an At-A-Glance calendar? Madi Brown doesn’t think so. Surely you are capable of making lingering eye contact , engaging in stimulating conversation, and having someone else pick up the tab. Surely you are worthy of being one of those people in the restaurant who others look at and think, Wow, it sure looks like they’re having a good time. I wish that I was at that table. Let’s face the facts, it’s mostly trumped-up by artificial means in the name of BLAME-IT-ON-THE-ALCOHOL. Now who wants more wine? Meeeeeeee, I do! I do! Okay, not everyone all at once…Relationships are not all healthy. Let me repeat that, Relationships are not all healthy. Once more for those of you who turned away to watch a clever television commercial, relationships are not all healthy. Yes, I said, call your lawyer and sue me. Tell your lawyer that Madi Brown sent you. Tell your lawyer that he probably needs to visit this website to navigate through his/her own relationship ISH.
But let’s re-think this as I dole up another helping of Madi Brown’s relationship advice. That’s why you’re here right? For Relationship tips? Let this sink into your cerebrum. You are worthy. You are so worthy. It’s not Wayne’s World. It’s really yours. You can date, or not date. You can make reservations and bring along a newspaper, a Sudoku book, or your cell phone. Or, you can watch every other pair and group in the restaurant and stare at them like they are the crazy ones for needing other people to keep them entertained. Sometimes, those are the relationship losers, the lost ones. It’s those same homo sapiens who are afraid to be alone with themselves. Here’s a relationship question that will totally have you scratching your head all of my Madibrown.com readers. How do you expect anyone to be attracted to you if you can’t stand being around JUST YOU for any stretch of time? Smart chicklit, it’s about to not entertain you and transform you, and you won’t even see it coming. Just stay tuned… In the mean time. Shop until you drop tough-girl style for your solo date….You should be FALLing for yourself at this time of the year….
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Relationships – Women Too Independent for their Own Good. You know what I’m talking about. Think about the last time someone, anyone, asked you if you needed help and you refused it. It could have been a gesture like holding the door open as you struggled through the door with an armful of groceries. That’s you, Ms. Independent. It could have been when you were entering a bus or train when suddenly a guy gives you the green light to go in front of him—and you passed. That’s you, Ms. Independent. Being the independent woman is often thought of as being a trait that can classify you as being a strong person, but really, who wants to be body-builder strong all of the time as a woman? Maybe this is why there’s a new generation of men that aren’t into holding doors open, walking on the outside of a woman or pulling out chairs on a freaking Continue reading
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Sex Substitutes – 3 Things Your Mother Left Out. Yesssss…. You are allowed to mention Mothers and Sex in the same sentence. Well, how do you think you got here? Mamma must have had a life too. Things happen. “ish” happens. I happen to think that I personally am a freak of nature. I am more motivated by the relationship aspect that comes with being involved in a sexual relationship. So no, I don’t walk around grumbling and complaining about being backed up (sexually frustrated) because I know that my day will COME and that guy is gonna be a happy one. But everyone is not me, and I realize this. I don’t expect people to live up to my skyscraper standards of staying focused at all Continue reading
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Workaholic – Or Why Madi Brown Isn’t Dating. A workaholic is described as someone who has a compulsive and unrelenting need to work, at least according to The Free Online Dictionary. That sounds about right to me, except for fact that my photo seems to be missing. If you read my previous part two post on the date that fizzled before it could even start, then you’ll probably agree that proclaiming myself to be a workaholic is pretty much a bulls-eye. It’s no coincidence, why I am so driven, why I’ve made carving out this particular career in writing so important, that not much else matters at the present Continue reading
Relationship – How to Sabotage Yours Now…. In 3 different ways it can be dunnzo. finished. ancient history. But who would want to destroy a relationship in the first place? Most times, it’s someone who is afraid of being hurt. It’s someone—who isn’t ready to settle down. It’s someone who has changed their mind about the other person because they’ve suddenly discovered that this person has fallen short of their expectations… Check box one off for me. In my prior post, I was blazing a trail on the dating scene. but that fire has since fizzled. I know, I will eventually have to demo this wall that I’ve built up to protect Continue reading
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Swag – How To Make the First Move On a Guy…Well, this was an experiment. Not to say that I wasn’t attracted to this particular guy, I’d just never made the first move before. Believe it or not—no, not ever. But it’s a new age, and I wanted to try to dispel some of relationship tips that my mom had raised me to follow over the years. I like to lovingly refer to them as “Mom’s old school rules,” one of which states that the guy should be the one to make the first move. If you think that’s utterly ridiculous, then you don’t want to hear my mother’s other rule that states that a guy should love you more than you love him. I’ve gotten a few winners and a few losers using her methodology, and I wanted to try something well—DIFFERENT. It’s just like I told you, this was an experiment. We all know that the Continue reading
A Regular guy – Who really wants one? So, what do women really want in a man? Tall, handsome, charming, funny, a great lover, someone with business savvy, a wealthy man, single, someone who loves kids, a man with a great body, a listener, a problem solver, a leader, a great cook, a spontaneous man, an easygoing man. Someone who puts you at the top of the list, a family man. A man who knows how to use power tools on everything plumbing and electrical, better yet, a man who can build you your dream house. A man who has morals, a man who has religious values. A saver, and a spender (who likes to spontaneously buy YOU fab gifts). BUT REALLY?????? It’s just tooooo much to ask for in only one person. Your chances of finding someone with all of the above qualities are next to zip-zero. Again, it’s way too much. In fact, you want too much. Someone needs to break this to you, so I’ll just go on ahead and tell you that YOU ARE EVEN TOO MUCH FOR YOURSELF. You just haven’t realized it. I mean, let’s examine this. Are you perfect in every way? Continue reading
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Relationships – Is it Love Lost, or a case of The One That Got Away? I realize that it’s been a while since yours truly has posted, but a Chick like me has been really Super-Duper-Busy planning a surprise party that didn’t pan out, preparing for a trip that I’ve decided not to go on (as of 7/10/12 it’s back on again), and prepping myself for the love of my lifetime . And about that love of a lifetime, I’ll keep it real and divulge that I had purposefully stepped away from the dating scene for a stretch of time. If you need me to break it down further, then this simply means that I don’t feel like I need a man in order to feel validated. And while having a steamy love-life is one of the components that best-selling novels are made of, I’m wise enough to know that if it’s the wrong person then you could still wind up feeling empty and alone. No, I’m Continue reading
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Botox Butts and Boobs….for the Modern Woman sort of seems like an oxymoron, but with lunchtime procedures becoming so popular, who knows how far away an enhancement appointment will be for any of us girls? It seems that everyone is in search of perfection. Every woman wants to have physical traits like Beyoncé, Kim Kardashian, J-Lo and those other high-profile celebrity chicks. But why? Maybe it is because of the way that our men salivate over these women, maybe we want to be them to fulfill a fantasy so that our guys will never want to stray like a calico cat in heat at a kitty brothel. It’s women’s problems, women’s problems women’s problems. Don’t get me Continue reading
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So, here’s my top-secret 5 First Date Dealbreakers or Go Kill Yourself list. Let it be your guide, because these are truly words to live by:
First Date Rule #1: Duh. If your shoes are cuter than mine then I won’t be able to focus on you. I’ll be staring at your red-bottoms with envy. #jealousbitch Continue reading
